28 weeks -Oops Sorry I missed the other weeks!

Ya, I missed 3 weeks of updating.

Just don't know wat to write.

This pregnancy have not been a very happy one. I wanna be happy! So that I cant have a healthy baby!

Last 2 weeks was my check up and the Dr said my baby is quite small. I already guess that. My babies have never been big, so it'd be a miracle if this one is big. He have a big head though. Just like Aniq's. Haha!

I've been getting dizzy spells, fm the lack of iron I guess.I'm also down with fever, flu and bad cough the last couple of days.

And I tink my tummy is getting smaller ley. Everyone else said so also. It's kinda worrying me. It's not as big as it's supposed to be. I'm in my 7th mth now, but my tummy is small like 5mths, or rather it had stopped growing the last 2 mths. Weird. But baby is still growing and active. Ok never mind I'll google up later.

I gained another 3 kgs. Damn it. This time I know its all goin to me and not the baby.

25 weeks - Braxton Hick, Swelling, Breathless

Yes, that is all that I am feeling now.

The contractions are getting more frequent now. Hope it's nothing bad. Well no bleeding so far, so should be good lah.

I know I've been too active, as always. Yes, I still ride the bike the work. Muaahahah! But I cant walk far! The bloody bus stop is so far from my work place and cab rides are so bloody expensive!

Eh I still ride the bike up to my last months before, even to JB. So what is the short distance from home to work.

But this pregnancy is different abit lah. I feel so heavy now and it's only the 6th mth! I cant walk far, else I'll get the ligament pain. My feet and hands are starting to swell already. Never had any swelling for the last preggys.

Age is really catching up with me I guess. So I'm glad I'm doing this now. Imagine if I only do it in the next few years. It will be worst! It will be no fun being pregnant.

Anyway, had a talk with him the next day after my post. I almost didnt say anyting to him dat day. The sight of him drives me crazy and I kept on crying.

He went to work that nite and msned me and asked me wats wrong. I was suprised by his reply. HE ACTUALLY APOLOGIZE! Unbelievable! U know that night I almost wanted to book a ticket to Perth, before we msned of coz.

So now, he holds me again, like he use to. He waits for me.

Btw the above is a pic of me 25 weeks, being prego and vain. Muahahah!

24 Weeks - Unappreciated

I really dont know wats wrong with me recently. But today I'm feeling my worst. Was I being too sensitive?

Yesterday, we were at skatepark. It was raining. My slippers were slippery. He didnt even bother to look back, as usual. He walk right infront. Lucky I have my girls to help me walk. Was just holding me to keep my balance too much to ask? If the girls were not there, would he hold my hand then?

Throughout the 6 months, I really dont feel the love and concern I use to get before. Maybe I'm too fat and ugly now dat I am an embarrasment to him?

I'm feeling unappeciated. Invinsible to him at times.

I cried today. Should I? As hard as I try to hold the tears, it came down profusely.

He asked me this morning, wats wrong. I said nothing. Of coz i had to say nothing. Becoz saying wat I actually feel would lead to a big argument, which will make things worst! I'll end up crying more and it's no good for my da tao. But keeping all this aint making it any better, does it?

How heartless can someone be? He is a human who loved me before, protected me. But now I feel like I'm all alone in this. I know I have manje, who will be there within a call. So I'm glad I have this baby sis of mine.

But it shuld be him, shuldnt it? Why doesnt he want to? Why isnt he? Why?

Why the people who shuld be happy, protecting me, be here for me isnt here??

WHY ARE YOU ALL SO FUCKING HEARTLESS!!!>?????

I HATE YOU!

23 Weeks - Tummy Mummy

There you have it. My humungous tummy at 23 Weeks. This will do lah ok? I am so huge now that I've become clumsier. Food keeps on falling all over my tummy. Sungguh tak Vogue!

And yes, I will get bigger, I know. Then how to walk eh like that? I told chubby that day I want a wheel chair. It's just too heavy to walk sometimes. Especially when I get the usual contractions.

Oh, we can see the baby kick now. Manje got shocked when the he kicked her hand this afternoon.

Celebrated My one and only princess Bday yesterday at Sentosa. Supposed to be 4th July lah. But everyone will be working that day. So we had an advanced bday for her.

That's just about updates I can give so far. Trouble still sitting on my shoulders, so I really cant tink or write more happy stuff at the moment...Sorry Da Tao!

22 weeks - After a long week break..

Ok I've been bad at this huh.

No tummy pic update, no update.

The big rock burden is still on my shoulder. So dats why I dont feel like writing. But I gots to. I know!

Was on a long week break since last Thurday. Manje's 21st & Aripo's Proposal had been a success. I feel so deprived from not being able to party like them. Damn it! LOL! Will be back to work tomorrow.

So my new sorrow of the week will be rashes under my boobies. They're getting too big now I suppose, plus the freaking hot weather now. It looks just like nappy rash. So irritating and gatal!

My da tao now is 500gram and my weight now is 74.9kgs. FCUK! That's anothe 1.9 kg gain! Ok lah not as much as it was last mth. I tink someting is wrong with the machine lah.

I can walk much easily now. I tink the baby and my uterus have finally gone up to a comfortable position. But sometimes when I walk too fast, I'll get cramps on my tummy. The Jackos was quite worried looking at me last week being very lincah and all with the cooking and arrangments. I just cannot sit still lah. Feel so ackward and useless. Besides I feel fine.

So another week past and soon I'll be in my T3. Woo hoo!

Ok I promise to take a pic of now my big tummy and boobs and upload the my Da Tao Scan.

22 weeks 6 days

498grms

21 Weeks - Still not in a chirpy self

So I missed last week's update..

Just in no mood to write coz I have a big big problem sitting on my head right now. Nothing much to update also. Just same old same old. Heartburn, back ache, heart burn, eh I mention that already eh?

Just that I notice my tummy is getting smaller.

Ok usually when I'm not pregnant, when I'm this stressed out, I will lose weight instantly. So I guess that's why.

No appetite to eat sometimes. I can even go without dinner at all. It's no good I know. But this prob is too much for me to handle.

2009 have not been such a good year after all. Haiz. Sometimes I wish I can just sleep and wake up when all the worries are gone.

2009 made me realise money can buy just about everything. You can even buy ppl whom never in your life you would have tot could be bought with money.

For this first time in my life, I am so angry with this person that I dont feel a single bit of guilt at all after the phone conversation, which was ended by chubby. Usually I will feel like shit. I will call or sms the person to apologize. But for the first time, I don't feel the need to apologize. For wat fuck?! I know I am not wrong.

That was when I realised that I can buy this person's symphaty and concern with money. Amazing, isnt it?

Today, by right I'll be 22 weeks, alhamdullilah. 18 more weeks to go. Yeay! I'm less than halfway there. Oh btw, I just came back from Prawning. Manje is now an expert at this. Unbelievable! And she's allergic to prawns. How ironic is that?

I'm angry, dissapointed, worry. Where's the happiness that I should be going thru?

I pity my Da Tao, who getting very active now. He's awake every 2 hours! Chia lat!

Sorry my sweet little pie. Mummy will try to be happier for you ok? Please pray for us for this great challenge to be over soon.

Dear God, please help....