Me still Fat & Mir first Swim

Yes I'm still very very very fat. Bingitz. Actuallykan I tink I've lose a bit of weight till at Sharmaine's party, I ate and ate and ate and before that also I was always hungry. So yesterday, I gave up. Had to do the ultimate. Visited my favourite doctor to get my favourite pills.

See how fat I am above? There are other pics dat shows how fat I am, but I shall keep those to myself. Nabeiz ah!

From today onwards, its gym everyday. Also now I have my exprego buddy to go gym with, we shall motivate each other.



I brought Mir for his first swim last Thurs to wild wild wet. He can only last for bout 10 mins and then it was too hot. His cheeks was getting red. So before I get an earful from his Ayah when he sees his buntat in the evening, i tot i had better bring him back to the chalet. That's a thermal bodysuit by the way. I checked on the internet, that its ok to bring a 2 mth baby to swim as long as he's not shivering. So he wasnt.

I'd bring him again, but definitely not to wild wild wet, the kids gets too wild there.




He's now drinking 100 ml at every 2 hrs! yes, my pocket very koyak. I tried bfing but he still will be hungry, then get frustrated and very very angry. So wat to do, just have to work harder lor.

My life so far...

I havent actually blogged bout ME after the birth have I?

So far alhamdullilah life have been good so far. I gave birth to a good baby boy who only wakes up once at night for milk. What more could a mummy of a 1 mth old baby ask for.

I think Mir is the easiest to handle amongst all four. He don't cry like other babies do. It'll only be like and "ekk ekk" and his cries never go all the way. Like some babies they cry their lungs out until you finish bathing him or till the bottle goes into their mouth. He will not cry like dat. Its only for a few seconds then he would stop.

A hardcore baby just like mummy eh?

Oh and I notice he loves to be out. He would sleep through out. Maybe due to me always merayap when I was pregnant with him? Must be lah.LOL! Last week, we brought him to skatepark and he slept throughout lah! And yesterday also at Parkway. Only got up for milk and then sleep again. I think he feels comfortable outside. Likee mummy oso...waahahh!!

He's still sleeping now, with an overloaded diapers as I'm typing. Yes, its 1030 and he's still asleep. Havent bath yet.

I havent lose weight lah! Not even a gram from the last time I weight. Nabeiz.I did 100squats last 2 days and yesterday I dance for 3 whole hours. Now my thighs are hurting like hell. But I can see a bit of diff already.Or is it just in my mind? So today 100 squats again lah.

I have 2 more weeks to Sharmaine's bday. Hopefully can lose the weight on the thighs and butt a bit more by then. So that I wont look the a big fat hippo dat much.

I am 1 month Old!

Hello I am one month old already!

So far I've been a very good boy. But gettin a bit notti lah. I refuse to sit in my new rocker too long. I just want to be cuddle most of the time when I'm awake can? I tink I've gained a lot of weight as you can see from my pic above. So boncet now.And my muscles are building up more oso. I just had to show them off, that's why I took a pic without my t shirt on.

I'm always hungry don know why. Mummy actually is already giving me a bit of cereal in my milk once a day and my dosage have already been increase, but I'm still hungry every 2 hours.

OKlah I'm hungry again.Ciao!

Hello! I'm 16 days today!



I've been a good boy so far. Only cry when I want my milk. My SB level have oso gone down. I have another, hopefully the last check next week. OKlah...feeling sleepy again....ciao ciao..

The birth of Mir Adheen

As I rest in my bed, watching with total amazement of a tiny little boy suckling on breast, I thank God for the wonderful gift I am holding..

This precious gift, we named Mir Adheen, was born on 06th Oct 2009 at 1155hrs, born at 37 weeks 5 days, weighing at 2.89kgs



And now, I have two important men in my life sharing the same birthday..

This is the Birth Story of..

Mir Adheen Bin Yazid

05th Oct 09, 1730hrs, I was feeling mild contractions, coming at 15 mins apart. Called chubby but told him to relax as it was still mild so we have a long way to go. Slowly packed my stuff. Was supposedly to go Tampines one dat nite to buy the rest of the baby stuffs.

1945hrs, left home to make our way to ESH. Dropped by Singpost to buy the coupon in case we need to use the car.

2030hrs, reached ESH and was sent to labour ward to be examined.

2100hrs, strapped on CTG, VE done. I was 3cm dilated. Contractions at 15 mins apart still.

06th Oct, 0005 hrs, sang chubby a birthday song. Contractions getting less stronger

0600hrs, Dr decided to induce me, my contractions were getting lesser and I was still only 3cm dilated

0830hrs, Dr Lim, Dr Heng's replacement arrived, burst waterbag. I was given light breakfast. This is when the real actions began.

0900hrs, contractions gets more regular and intense. 3 mins apart only. Drip was increased. 4cm dilated. I was given the jab.

0945hrs Baby heart beat was dropping. So had to stop with the laughing gas and was made to breath oxygen only.

1020hrs 5cm dilated. Baby heartbeat went back normal, so was given back the gas. At this time, chubby was busy smsing, msning and fbing. Nabeiness rite??? It's bout my labour progress lah, but still...haiz..men!

1100hrs 6cm dilated. Baby heartbeat dropped again. Laughing gas stripped off again. This time I had to put on the oxygen mask. So I was bearing all the pain drug free. Just like how I had always wanted. It felt like being punched all over. I kept on reciting prayers at every contraction and breathing the oxygen deeply, just trying to make do wit it. At the same time, praying hard that nothing bad goes wrong with my baby. Kept telling myself that all the pain will be over in a few more minutes.

1130hrs I felt like pushing with every contraction. Only 7cm dilated!

1145hrs I told the nurse I have the urge to push already. She checked again already 8cm dilated. The midwife came and did the set up and asked me to if I wanted the gas. I said yes please!! Was given back the gas and the urge to push was getting stronger. Midwife pushed the gas on me and asked me to breath in deeply. Told me not to push. It was just like when it was Aniq. Coz the Dr was not there yet. Nabeiz! I breath in like it was the greatest thing in the world. And the contraction subside.

1150 Another contraction came and this time much stronger. I breathed in the gas more but it wasnt working. I just had to push. Don't care already lah. I pushed. And farted instead! Hahaha!! Ok here comes a bit of the disgusting part. Remember the breakfast I had earlier? It came out back down there. Eerks! Sorry ah! Chubby called the nurse and she saw the suprise I had for her. While she was cleaning me up, another contraction came. I breathe in more, but I just had to push and the baby head crowned. I can hear the nurse shouting," Ya allah, call the midwife!"

She came in. Another contraction came and I pushed again, the head came out and another one and he was out. I heard him crying and they immediately placed him on my tummy as chubby cuts his cord. As easy as ABC. It was all over in 5 mins.

1155hrs, Mir Adheen was born with mummy's *toot* all over his face. Sorry baby!

1218hrs the damn bloody slow dr just arrived. Pushed out my placenta, finally! Now I know how uncomfortable it can get to have yr placenta hangin inside you after the birth. Feels like another baby waiting to come out. Stitched me up. Lucky her stitching was good.

Before there was just 5 of us, and now there's 6...

37 weeks -Is he coming already?

Ok at first i tot I wanted to write only after my CTG scan next Tues. But I'm afraid I wont be able to do dat.

Been feeling queasy since yesterday and this morning, after back fm JB, at bout 3am my mentrual cramp was quite intense. I actually noticed my stomach drop at Tesco last night already.

This morning, I felt very sickly, like want to run a fever and vomitted after a glass of water. The cramps are still there and gets worst when I walk. My pelvic area feels very sore and like throbbing pain.

So thats all for now. Baby is still actively moving. I hope he can stay in until the 6th.

36 weeks Update

In 3 days time I'll be a full term, yeay!!! Ok baby u can come out anytime after thurs k.

Went for my check up just now. I'm now 81.9kgs. Da Tao is 2.6 kgs. Everything is well. Blood pressure ok.

This Dr Heng eh always never tell me many things bout the pregnancy one, like other gynaes. Never tell me if the baby is engaged or wat not. Maybe not telling means there's nothing to tell = to everything is going ok.

But she don wanna do the VE for me. I think she scared it will trigger labour or maybe I'll be over excited if I know how much I have dilated. I guess I already am and she knows.Hmph!
She'll be gone tomorrow for the next 10 days. I'll be doing my CTG on chubby's Bday next week at the hospital. Great! At least I can see how it looks like.

My feet have been swelling, unswelling, swelling. So irritating. My face and fingers are also swelling. Now my nose is like hidung paip. Or a better way to describe it, like Nurul's. Muahahahhahah!!

I still have tonnes of preps for the baby not done yet.
set up baby cot
buy milk bottle
buy thermos flask

Not sure if I should already start packing my labour bag.

Waiting for something lah. Once that thing is ok. I can do the preps at ease...

God please make it ok...amin...

35 weeks My Big round basketball

And datz my big round basketball. Yes very very very the heavy. Berat mata memandang, berat lagi aku ni yang pikul.Hahahah!!

Raya is so boring this year coz I dont get to play dress up. So I dress up my princess only lah. I didnt even cry during the maaf maafan! I tot I would being all hormonal, but I guess the boys hormones are too overwhelming leaving me emotionless.But I was perspiring like crazy! Literally dropping sweats on the floor.

I can only wear slipper. How sad is that. Dah glamour2x, pastu pakai slipper.

Week 34 -Swelling, Swell, Swolen

So now finally I get to the taste of swelling feet. Yeay!!


Never had this before for the last 3 and now for the 4th, final one, i get it.


The BH are getting more frequent and intense now. I've been doing a lot of walking these days.

Ok at first I tot only I have the most inconsiderate hubby in the whole universe, but it turns out I am not the only one going thru this emo wreck feeling. Other mummies from the forum, mostly expecting their 2nd and above ones are oso suffering from the "My Hubby is useless" syndrome.

Not sure if its anything to do with our hormones, but it seems like we are all having the same tots and feelings. We wonder why other ppl hubby is so excited with the pregnancy and are so into it and are so considerate and pityful to their wives, but not our hubby! We feel like we are so independent that they couldnt care less. nabeiz rite? And we feel like we shuld have been a more dependent wife, then maybe they would show more concern.

You know I have a difficult time doing almost everyting, like taking off my clothes, putting on my pants and the worst is positioning myself when going to bed. I basically have to lift up my legs using my hands, coz my bed is a bit high lah. A lot of logistics needs to be done lah basically. I have to place the pillows nicely and even turning myself is a big task. Darling chubby will just lie there and look at me and sometimes even laugh! Idiotic isnt it? Why can he just help me with the positioning of the pillows when i'm lying down, seeing how difficult it is for me to manuver around. I even have to ask him to help me pull up the comforter. I have to ask!

Even that day I asked for his help to go up to Azilah house to take the baby clothes, he was so reluctant and expect me to do it! Why are men so useless I wonder??

When he had his appendix operation, I pick up everything for him, did everything for him, without having to be asked.

They are so dependent on us that they expect us to be independent in any circumstances!

33 weeks and I'm in Pain Physically & mentally!

Walking is such a challenge now. I'm not walking anymore, just waddling.

Almost fall on my back yesterday at A&W, over spilled root beer, while so anxiously goin to Chubby to tell him we managed to skill laci the mugs.Muahaha! Padan muka aku!

But I managed to hold my balance and did a split seven instead, which now causes me great pain due to the overstretched.

Then Siti took me to wash my legs and even wanted to help me wipe my leg, while the ignorant person who planted his seed in me, just stood there and watch. You see am I wrong to get upset over this? What is so wrong for him to bend and wipe my feet for me? Salah sangat ke? Jatuh ke his status if he does that? What if I do the same thing to him? He will sure give me the F face and I will definitely be effed.

Then, as usual, walk in front leaving me behind, coz he knows the girls are around to help me walk. I had to asked for the favour from him to hold me, when we reached Pandan. Its sickening! I'm just sick and tired of being ignored and taken for granted.

This is definitely not how I imagined to be treated when pregnant and its definitely gonna be for the last time. Not that I already want it to be the last time before, but this just confirms it even more.

Its embarassing lah that your other half don give a damn about u infront of the friends, in this state.

U know what I'm gonna do. I'm not gonna tell him that I'm giving birth. When the time comes, I'll just get a cab and go to the hospital myself.

Theres more actually lah. But I'll just keep it to myself for now..

32 weeks and Ayah got good news!

Yes he does!

Alhamdullilah, finally our life will be back on track. Now I can finally look forward to Syawal and the birth.

For me its not too good. Da Tao gave me someting new diz week, again, as usual. Sharp pain on the right side on my pelvic bone after I walk a few steps. Makin me more immobile. My legs would just jam and I have to stop walking for a few seconds. I tink his head is already too down there plus the face that he's got a big head too. So that makes it worst. Now I feel like there's a big watermelon stuck in between my legs. Ppl have been givin me the "I'm sorry u're suffering" look. And I've been getting these type of conversations

"Wah when are u due?"
"in 2 mths time"
"wah still so long ah. Looks like u're gonna give birth anytime now"

Nabeiness.

Yes I know its still that long. Can I help that my stomach looks like its bout to burst anytime now? But seriously, I don know how much bigger it can get sia.

So far so good I can fast and only didnt for one day. The day Abang In went out. We were out too much and I cannot tahan lah.

I find it amazing that I can eat dat much during break fast. Then I'll get too heavy and full. Then it'll feel like running a marathon after the prayer.

Finally got my coconut today. Been craving for it since last week sey.

Now waiting for my dengdeng from Manje....Manje come back faster lah!!!

31 weeks and he's fatter!

Yeap yup! He is.

I never tot Durians will really work but it did! yeay!! Last wed I went for the check up and at 30 weeks 2 days, he was already 1654grms. That's slightly above average. At first Dr Heng said, no lah still quite small, when I told her I've been eating Durians. Then when she check the weight, she took back her words. Hmph!

OK but I gotta stop for a while now. Ppl say its heaty and chubby is afraid it'll be another botak baby like Aniq. I tink chubby banyak campur makcik2x Ikea ah.

I'm now 77.9kgs. Nabeis! Gain weight again. Of coz lah.

He is definitely getting much heavier now and I walk like a penguin now and I look like shit. Deprived of Good sleep and good sex!
I feel like my whole body is cracking each time I change my sleeping position. There's only 2 positions now btw and sex is only one. yes, I'm in such a sorry state.

Tomorrow will be the start of Ramadhan and ppl have been telling me not to fast. But if I can, why not kan. So I'll try and lets see how it goes.

Singapore hospitals are so convervative! Only one person is allowed in the labour ward and no video cams! Wa liao. I had expected they will grow out of it, but apparently not!

So its 9 more weeks to go before I can finally hold him in my arms, insyallah. And finally get my good sleep, which I know will only be a week after the birth day. I know coz, I know I will get breast engorgement and how can anyone in the right mind be having a good sleep with that!

Our life is still not back on track yet and its getting nearer and I'm getting more worried. Dear God please help us....

30 weeks, lets fatten him up with durians!

Ok so I missed a week.

Alah, so whos counting anyway. i'm just too plain lazy to write now lah ok?

But at the same time, I want to remember every bits moment of this last pregnancy. Ok I'm confused as usual.

And getting exceptionally heavier and bigger. Tremendously bigger over the couple of weeks. I am always breathless and getting up from the chair after going to the toilet or turning my body to change position at nite is like asking me to run the 2.4km! On top of that, I have to pee almost every 2 hours or so.

Heartburn is getting less, still there, still an irritant at time, but less. So ok lah kan.

Just today, I found out why I was becoming huge all of a sudden is cause of Durian! I have been eating during and one of my colleague told me dat it can make the baby bigger fast. OK so I will eat durians more from today onwards. LOL! Coz doc say my baby is small.

Next wed will be my next check up, so we'll see how much he weights.

Oh and I read somewhere ice cream will also beef up the baby.

So more ice cream and durians for me now please.....life couldnt get any better than this eh..

28 weeks -Oops Sorry I missed the other weeks!

Ya, I missed 3 weeks of updating.

Just don't know wat to write.

This pregnancy have not been a very happy one. I wanna be happy! So that I cant have a healthy baby!

Last 2 weeks was my check up and the Dr said my baby is quite small. I already guess that. My babies have never been big, so it'd be a miracle if this one is big. He have a big head though. Just like Aniq's. Haha!

I've been getting dizzy spells, fm the lack of iron I guess.I'm also down with fever, flu and bad cough the last couple of days.

And I tink my tummy is getting smaller ley. Everyone else said so also. It's kinda worrying me. It's not as big as it's supposed to be. I'm in my 7th mth now, but my tummy is small like 5mths, or rather it had stopped growing the last 2 mths. Weird. But baby is still growing and active. Ok never mind I'll google up later.

I gained another 3 kgs. Damn it. This time I know its all goin to me and not the baby.

25 weeks - Braxton Hick, Swelling, Breathless

Yes, that is all that I am feeling now.

The contractions are getting more frequent now. Hope it's nothing bad. Well no bleeding so far, so should be good lah.

I know I've been too active, as always. Yes, I still ride the bike the work. Muaahahah! But I cant walk far! The bloody bus stop is so far from my work place and cab rides are so bloody expensive!

Eh I still ride the bike up to my last months before, even to JB. So what is the short distance from home to work.

But this pregnancy is different abit lah. I feel so heavy now and it's only the 6th mth! I cant walk far, else I'll get the ligament pain. My feet and hands are starting to swell already. Never had any swelling for the last preggys.

Age is really catching up with me I guess. So I'm glad I'm doing this now. Imagine if I only do it in the next few years. It will be worst! It will be no fun being pregnant.

Anyway, had a talk with him the next day after my post. I almost didnt say anyting to him dat day. The sight of him drives me crazy and I kept on crying.

He went to work that nite and msned me and asked me wats wrong. I was suprised by his reply. HE ACTUALLY APOLOGIZE! Unbelievable! U know that night I almost wanted to book a ticket to Perth, before we msned of coz.

So now, he holds me again, like he use to. He waits for me.

Btw the above is a pic of me 25 weeks, being prego and vain. Muahahah!

24 Weeks - Unappreciated

I really dont know wats wrong with me recently. But today I'm feeling my worst. Was I being too sensitive?

Yesterday, we were at skatepark. It was raining. My slippers were slippery. He didnt even bother to look back, as usual. He walk right infront. Lucky I have my girls to help me walk. Was just holding me to keep my balance too much to ask? If the girls were not there, would he hold my hand then?

Throughout the 6 months, I really dont feel the love and concern I use to get before. Maybe I'm too fat and ugly now dat I am an embarrasment to him?

I'm feeling unappeciated. Invinsible to him at times.

I cried today. Should I? As hard as I try to hold the tears, it came down profusely.

He asked me this morning, wats wrong. I said nothing. Of coz i had to say nothing. Becoz saying wat I actually feel would lead to a big argument, which will make things worst! I'll end up crying more and it's no good for my da tao. But keeping all this aint making it any better, does it?

How heartless can someone be? He is a human who loved me before, protected me. But now I feel like I'm all alone in this. I know I have manje, who will be there within a call. So I'm glad I have this baby sis of mine.

But it shuld be him, shuldnt it? Why doesnt he want to? Why isnt he? Why?

Why the people who shuld be happy, protecting me, be here for me isnt here??

WHY ARE YOU ALL SO FUCKING HEARTLESS!!!>?????

I HATE YOU!

23 Weeks - Tummy Mummy

There you have it. My humungous tummy at 23 Weeks. This will do lah ok? I am so huge now that I've become clumsier. Food keeps on falling all over my tummy. Sungguh tak Vogue!

And yes, I will get bigger, I know. Then how to walk eh like that? I told chubby that day I want a wheel chair. It's just too heavy to walk sometimes. Especially when I get the usual contractions.

Oh, we can see the baby kick now. Manje got shocked when the he kicked her hand this afternoon.

Celebrated My one and only princess Bday yesterday at Sentosa. Supposed to be 4th July lah. But everyone will be working that day. So we had an advanced bday for her.

That's just about updates I can give so far. Trouble still sitting on my shoulders, so I really cant tink or write more happy stuff at the moment...Sorry Da Tao!

22 weeks - After a long week break..

Ok I've been bad at this huh.

No tummy pic update, no update.

The big rock burden is still on my shoulder. So dats why I dont feel like writing. But I gots to. I know!

Was on a long week break since last Thurday. Manje's 21st & Aripo's Proposal had been a success. I feel so deprived from not being able to party like them. Damn it! LOL! Will be back to work tomorrow.

So my new sorrow of the week will be rashes under my boobies. They're getting too big now I suppose, plus the freaking hot weather now. It looks just like nappy rash. So irritating and gatal!

My da tao now is 500gram and my weight now is 74.9kgs. FCUK! That's anothe 1.9 kg gain! Ok lah not as much as it was last mth. I tink someting is wrong with the machine lah.

I can walk much easily now. I tink the baby and my uterus have finally gone up to a comfortable position. But sometimes when I walk too fast, I'll get cramps on my tummy. The Jackos was quite worried looking at me last week being very lincah and all with the cooking and arrangments. I just cannot sit still lah. Feel so ackward and useless. Besides I feel fine.

So another week past and soon I'll be in my T3. Woo hoo!

Ok I promise to take a pic of now my big tummy and boobs and upload the my Da Tao Scan.

22 weeks 6 days

498grms

21 Weeks - Still not in a chirpy self

So I missed last week's update..

Just in no mood to write coz I have a big big problem sitting on my head right now. Nothing much to update also. Just same old same old. Heartburn, back ache, heart burn, eh I mention that already eh?

Just that I notice my tummy is getting smaller.

Ok usually when I'm not pregnant, when I'm this stressed out, I will lose weight instantly. So I guess that's why.

No appetite to eat sometimes. I can even go without dinner at all. It's no good I know. But this prob is too much for me to handle.

2009 have not been such a good year after all. Haiz. Sometimes I wish I can just sleep and wake up when all the worries are gone.

2009 made me realise money can buy just about everything. You can even buy ppl whom never in your life you would have tot could be bought with money.

For this first time in my life, I am so angry with this person that I dont feel a single bit of guilt at all after the phone conversation, which was ended by chubby. Usually I will feel like shit. I will call or sms the person to apologize. But for the first time, I don't feel the need to apologize. For wat fuck?! I know I am not wrong.

That was when I realised that I can buy this person's symphaty and concern with money. Amazing, isnt it?

Today, by right I'll be 22 weeks, alhamdullilah. 18 more weeks to go. Yeay! I'm less than halfway there. Oh btw, I just came back from Prawning. Manje is now an expert at this. Unbelievable! And she's allergic to prawns. How ironic is that?

I'm angry, dissapointed, worry. Where's the happiness that I should be going thru?

I pity my Da Tao, who getting very active now. He's awake every 2 hours! Chia lat!

Sorry my sweet little pie. Mummy will try to be happier for you ok? Please pray for us for this great challenge to be over soon.

Dear God, please help....

20 weeks - Emotional Wreck

I've been wanting to write. But there's just so much to write till I don't know how to put it in words. Don't know where to start...

I've been an emo wreck.

I should be happy rite? But the ppl that are suppose to be happy with me are not doing their job that great.

I've always been strong and I want to be strong AND HAPPY. But why am I so weak this time? Damn it! I use to be good at hiding my emotions. Always potraying a happy chirpy me, no matter how big the problem is. But I'm falling to my knees...

NO! I must get up and face the world with confidence.

Yesterday, the worst happen. She kept blaming me. Blaming my mouth. Without even finding out wat actually happen, she called and shoot me straight in the ears. WTF! Then afterwards, watever words that comes out of my mouth are used back againts me. Even when her debate doesnt make any fucking sense. And I broke down, which I shouldnt have. But it was too much for me to take. To be accused of things I didnt do will always make me trip. On top of that blaming my condition for my behaviour! Unbelievable!

But I know now it's pointless. Whatever it is, she will still side dat asshole. Now I know better. So from today onwards, to hell with her and her pet. I couldnt care less. I have my own. You lead your life and I'll lead mine.

Oh btw I'm no more constipating. Yeha! Heartburn is still around. But I still wanna eat spicy. So now Aromag is my new BFF. Cant live without it. Well, at least there's a solution to it. For that, I'm HAPPY!

I'm halfway thru liao. 20 weeks down and 20 weeks to go. I'll survive. Insyallah!

19 weeks

So its confirm a boy. Well I asked Dr Heng to check again just in case. Muahaha! Was hoping a miracle would happen and it becomes a girl. Nevertheless, I'm just glad he's growing well. In fact too well I think that he is above the average weight of what he is suppose to be.

At 18 weeks then, when the Dr measured him, he is supposed to be only around 190gm+ & 15.03cm. See the chart below I got from www.babycenter.com

So the weight gain of 3kgs since last month does not all go to me lah! Heng! I've not been eating that much actually, due to heartburn. So I couldnt believe it at first that I gained 3 bloody kgs! I tink its all going to the boobs and ass ah. They are rather too big right now.

The past week I am 'enjoyin' a new 'joy' of being pregnant. Constipation. Another pregos nightmare and our biggest enemy. Last night had been the worst, that I nearly cried and sorry for being bit too detailed and gross here but my ass hole is still sore from all that pushing that it was painful when i tried to do my business this morning, even though it was a normal soft feace.

I was feeling so blessed then, when constipation hadnt come to me, hearing and reading about all the other pregos complaining goin through it and now I know how painful it can get. It's almost like giving birth. In fact I think pushing the babies out are not as hard as pushing shit out! LOL!

Ok enough about the shit story already lah kan.

Today I heard another bad news. One of our groupie got retrenched. It's so sad. The logistic industry is getting bad now. I'm just glad I still get to keep my job. Alhamdullilah.

It is also so frustrating that in the news and everywhere, the govt say they are trying to help Singaporeans cope with job losses, but at the same time are giving away permits to all the Philipinos, China and other cheap labour foreigners. So hypocritical!

All the says are just for show. But the truth is they are just a bunch of selfish asslochs who only tink of their own rice bowl. It is just so easy to get work permits now. You can see all these bloody cheap labours everywhere now! Sometimes I feel like I'm in a foreign country and not Singapore. Irritating!

Then again, wat more can we do? Unlesss I have millions in the bank, I would have lived somewhere else and not on this communist island. Nabei!

But I must admit these foreigners are really good at what they do, except for the Indians. Lazy bunch of bullshitters. But the China and Phinos are ok and they are friendly. I dont blame them really coz its our selfish KNNCCB govt are the ones that is making it easy to approve permits.

Eeee!! this year I will not vote for them anymore!

Ok enough of my ranting....meeting starts in 5 mins....meeting again..

18 weeks

So another week past.

Heartburn getting worst everyday. I can even get heartburn while eating sambal. It dont have to wait for the next hour. How shiok is dat. Damn it!

I'm still feeling the burn as I am typing now. It's driving me bonkers! The sight of anything spicy or citrusy makes me wanna puke. Wa liao...how to tahan another 5 mths.

The funny thing is I noticed, my tummy is getting smaller or maybe stagnant. Not growing anymore. But I can still feel him kicking. So that's a good sign.

I feel pain in the pelvic area each time I get up and it makes walking such a chore. I'd be walking like a penguin. Just like mak.

Sleeping is not so great now, sex isnt any better. Positions for both task are limited. Wahahah!!

Ok, so why did I wanna get pregnant again???

Oh yah, so that I can have my final baby I promised chubby before I turn 31 and becoz I wanna give Atu a partner, but unfortunately she'd be the only princess in the family. Hope she's happy with that outcome. Well, she seems ok with it.

At this point of time, I wished time would go faster, but I know I'll missed all the heartburns, backaches, big boops, kickings, squirmings, after I give birth..

17 weeks , May Outing and Celebrations

Well, baby you can say dat again...


Phew, it had been the longest 17 weeks wait ever. But actually since Da Tao turned 14 weeks, the weeks get by faster now. Open eyes, close eyes (pejam, celik, pejam, celik) I'm already in my 17 weeks.


Alhamdullilah, all is good.


But I must say, this month is the most challenging month. We are faced again with the same challange, just when I tot life is getting better. Haiz...But we will get through this together insyallah.


This month also is the month with the most celebration and outings. My Bonus is all gone liao. Didnt get a big fat bonus like last year, as expected. But it was more than what I expect.



We went to see the sound of the sea for the first time. It was on Labour day. Damn packed with tourist, Northern Indians especially. And as usual, as irritating and rude and ignorant as ever. They think just cause they can afford to have a holiday here, it suddenly makes its alright for them to act like they own the place.


While we were waiting for the show to start, and I tell you it was a very nong nong wait, these Indians were just behind us and of coz some of them tried their best to squeeze into our seats coz we got the best seats, courtesy of Cik Usop (the priveleges of having an Uncle who works and run the show, the tickets were free oso, of coz), one of their kid managed to squeeze himself in between us. Ok never mind. So at least ask your kid to behave and make him sit quietly. BUT NO! Ignorant as they are, the child keeps on getting off and on the seat and like a keling mabuk walking, nearly falling each time and the mother who is 2nd behind our row keeps passing food to him, as if the person behind us is transparent, ignoring his presense there, without any excuse me or sorry, the ugly fat smelly arms at his face.


Then she was also walking around passing bread to her other family members, hitting ppl head with her huge fat ass, trying to be funny with Don or prolly trying get fresh with him ( coz Don looks lika a bangla...wahahah!) by asking if he wants to buy her bread for $1 coz she dont have enough money to buy the fan the sentosa ppl was selling, which she complained was too expensive and she could have gotten it for $1 in her country. Nabei! Well, hello idiotic woman, just in case u forget, you're in one of the most expensive city in the world. So what do you expect?


I keep on telling chubby just to occupy the space instead of leaving the space for the idiotic boy to sit. But chubby being the nicer half of us, still leaves the space for the boy. Until the ultimate happen, the idiotic boy, running in his usual keling mabuk way back to the his seat, fall on chubby's lap and dat was its. This was wat the idiotic mother gets from me.


The Rina Bitch Wide eye stare and , " Your son is damn irritating! Can you please take him away and make sure he behaves?!!!"

And she FINALLY ask him to sit wit her. Seriously, even China ppl behaves better than them. I think they are the worst tourist. Never have I once had a ny good encounters with North Indians. Never. But amazingly, my north Indian colleague is a great person. Maybe she have been Singaporized fully.





The week after for D's Birthday Suprise at Torstens apartment at his rooftop. It could have been much better if not for the lousy weather. It was effing warm dat nite. So wind at all! But I'm glad she loves it...




Then Bel's wedding at Asian Civilisation Museum. She was so sweet, giving her newly wedded hubby a suprise by serenating him with a song although she cant sing dat well, but still had the courage to do it. And dat is wat makes it so sweet...aww....I almost cried ya know..its the hormones...the hormones..





Then it was Mother's day celebration cum Nek Minah's Bday celebration at Cik Mar's gorgeous house at Faber Park, right after Bel's wedding.





Mak with her' twin' ( her younger sister actually but I tink my mak looks younger hehe). The only true sister she have now. The other one...indescribable, she might as well just die.
I just had to bold it coz I know her KNNCCB children will be reading it...nyeh nyeh





And with her Romeo...


This year we didnt get Mak anything extravagant as we usually did, coz recession lah. Just got her a box of very the ex chocolates, which she loves anyway coz got nuts lah. But she knows our love for her is never less, so that matter more rite?





And here's my mother day gifts from my Angels....The most I had so far...kwang kwang...


So finally, I'm 17 weeks now, loved and being loved....

HAPPY BIRTHDAY SITI HAJAR!!!!

Called my darling Siti this morning and gave her a Good morning suprise from Singapore. I tink she almost fell of her chair, if she was sitting then.

I could almost feel her hugging me through the phone from her shouting.

Babe, I wish you were here as much as you wished you were here right now, today especially.
But being there is something you've always dreamed of doing and you've worked hard to get it.
So....
MAKE THE MOST OF IT AND STOP THINKING OF THIS LOUSY ISLAND!
Hahahah!!
Wat lah you. I wish I could have been there instead of being stuck in this communist-like city.

Hope you have the most fantastic 'suprise' Berfday dinner celebration with your now love ones there....
We'll have a belated one for you here in Nov k...

HAPPY 27TH BIRTHDAY DEAR SISTER..
YOU ARE MISSED!!

Heartburn, kicking, tapping, squirming

Yes yes. I'm suffering from bad bad heartburn but enjoying the squirming, kicking and tapping of my lil da tao.


His movements are getting prominent now but only I can feel it for now. Sorry people. I know you're dying to touch and see how my belly will move on its own, but it'll be only in 2 0r 3 mths from now.


I cant eat spicy already! Waarrgghh!! It'll give me such bad heartburn that i'll feel so terrible for the new hours. I tink I may lose weight from this...or maybe not? Well, I'm just glad my chin is still single and not YET double *pray hard it wont at all* But my cheeks are getting more puffy ley.



See puffy eh? Btw that's my tummy at 14 weeks. Big ey?

Today, they announced the new set up and my nightmare came true. FCUK! I'm under that zeng BUT she can forget bout me regarding her as my BOSS and getting my respect. Forget it. And I will never ever ever let her step on my head. I will not do all the work and let her have the credit. She can effing forget bout USING ME! I hate my new post now. ALTHOUGH, I have been promoted. Still the tot of being under her...aaarrgghh!! F U CINDY!

On a better note, I dont have to put up wit ML nonsense anymore. Still I'd rather put up with his nonsense than dat MF ball carrier. Aiyah donno lah. Just glad that I still have my job, coz yesterday, 2 got laid off.

So I guess I just have to live with this for the next 5 mths, then I'll be on leave and hopefully by the time I come back to work, there are changes, otherwise....Lets just leave it to the good tots for now.

Great events to look forward to this weekend. Diane's bday at Torsten roof top on Frida, Sentosa outing on Sat, then Bel's wedding reception and Mother's day celebration on Sunday. Yeay!!

It's a Hot Dog!

Well you cant see the hot dog from this scan. But I saw it yesterday clearly. He proudly showed his willy to us. He was in the lazy position, all terkangkang, I think purposely want to let the mummy see.

The Dr Heng scanned from his backside and I can see two balls hanging. Before she can say it's a boy, I already know what it is. Then she scanned in another position and I can see his proud willy. No shame ah this Boy! Haha!

I saw him kicking also like he's not happy being disturb from his sleep. And finally Dr Heng let me hear the heartbeat. Maybe coz I brought the two little rascals along. They were so excited! But I know they both wanted a girl including aniq.

Then outside they converse.

Atu: Aniq kita nak kasi baby name ape eh? ( Aniq, what should we name the baby?) *in her usual kepo tone*

Aniq: Baby...

Atu: Baby je? (Baby only?)

Aniq: Baby ah! Abih nak name ape? ( Baby lah! What else then?) *with his usual not happy dont disturb me already tone*

Atu: Ok lah baby, baby lah

It was so cute to hear them converse like that. I'm very sure Atu will be a very good big sister, but not so sure about Aniq. And I dont really think Atu will be too keen to share her throne as the princess of the family.

Btw, Da Tao's kicking is getting more prominent now. It's shocking sometimes. But I'm loving it.

Thanks Allah for giving me this blessing...Alhamdullilah..

P/S We're gonna have a feast and Ka La Oke tonite at our place with the Jackos...woohhoo!!!

13 weeks ++

My Da Tao Bump at 13 weeks 2 days



So finally I decided to take a pic of my huge self. As you can see I have 3 huge bumps on me. They are causing me bad bad back aches. I dont know how will I manage in the next 6 mths when it grows more. Oh yes, it can grow more and for the last pregnancies I was like a whale wit a pair of legs.

Last weekend had to be a work out weekend for me. We were at East Coast for a picnic with Hubby's family on Saturday. Then on Sunday, was Zoo outing with the Jackos. I was made to walk and walk and walk. And of coz they have no problem with walking, but hello! Well I do. But the kids had so much fun except for Atu who kept on whining, coz she couldnt get wat she wants. Now I wish this one will be a boy. Girls are more whiny and I tink having one is enough.

So yes, I want a boy....for now...

Officially in the 2nd trimester & All bout kids

Yeay!! Finally today I am officially in my 2nd trimester. 13 weeks. It had been the longest wait of my life!

My tummy is getting harder now. But no line yet visible yet running down my navel. It gets the hardest after every meal.

They say this is the honeymoon period of yr pregnancy. The best period of time. Oklah, I'm less fatique now, but my back ache is killing me. I can barely open my eyes now in the afternoon.

Btw did I already say, my little man now is now a MAN. Yes, dah baligh! Feel so odd. Last tues I send him to the clinic coz he got a high fever, maybe pasal baru baligh tak? Hahah! I was wearing my slippers and realised that he is now almost as tall as me. We dont look like mother and son. He's on a growth spurt now. I feel like he's my brother. Well we are only 17 years apart. So that explains I guess. He could have been my mum's son!

I was msning Bliszy today then suddenly this topic of breast engorgement came up. It started when she said she wanna sleep over my house when she comes back to lepas kan rindu. I said of coz she's welcome lah. Then she mentioned, " eh kak dat time you blum habis hari kan, with the baby cries and all" someting like dat lah. So I told her dat is my least worry. Its the breast engorgement part is wat I hated most in all of the pregnancy and post pregnancy period.

Its worst than labour pain. At least labour pains last only for hours. This one last for weeks. It even caused me fever and I had to take some medication to bring the swelling down. My breast felt like a rock. I feel like I'm carrying 2 big heavy rock on my body.

Ok now why did I wanna get pregnant again???

Oh wells I'm just glad I am for now. Let me regret this when I go thru it in Oct.

I'm hoping so much for a girl. They are more affectionate and more tings to dress them up with. I was at TM the other day and saw this frill skirts they sell. Atu wont look good in coz she's now as lean as a bamboo pole and too tall. Its more for cute fat babies. Atu looks like a model now. She even aims to dress up and walk like one. When ever she sits, her legs will be crossed and becoz her legs are long, she looks like a model. My baby girl has grown up so much. She's more of a big girl now. Btw I have decided to send her to Temasek Pri. Better lah there. Ppl shift houses, do parent duty just to get their kid into temasek Pri. Whilst I can easily get her in and for me to let that go, would very koo koo rite?

Aniq. What can I say bout my little mischevious Aniq. A true replica of his Ayah. His face, the way he tease ppl. Life would be so boring without him and to think that I almost wanted to abort him. I'm glad I didnt. Well it would never have happened anyway. I will surely get a tight *piang* on my face.

Sometimes I wonder. Am I being too lenient about my kids education? I should worry that till now, they still dont know their ABCs. Well I do of coz. But I just know deep in my heart that they will find a way to know it and learn it by hard themselves. I never pushed Akim. Ok so he was very slow at first. But now, he can pass all his subjects effortlessly. I never see him study, yet he scored such good marks for the last exam. Face it, some kids are slow whilst some are just born smart. really!

This is true fact. I never had any private tuition coz we couldnt afford one. My mum never monitor my studies. Hell she wasnt even there when I took my awards. But I still excel better than my cousins who had expensive good private tutors coaching them.

For me I just want them to make learning a fun experience. Not some hellish time. They dont have to be first in everything like how some other kiasu parents push their kids. As long as they did it and had fun with it, I'm just as proud as any other parents are. My ex boss, Andreas ever told me this. He dont get it why most Singaporeans get tutors for their kids to study after school, when the kids are already so drained out in school. The kids should rest and have some playtime so that they could concentrate in class. Well, I couldnt agree more! He's a german by the way. And they're smart. So that should be the correct way to let your kids learn.

Of coz, chubby being the typical Malay sporean who see his sister pushed her kids really hard wants me to teach my kids just like his sister. Well hello, no way hozay. I'm not a physco maniac crazy over ppl praises on how good my kids are at studies.As I have mentioned if the kids are born smart they dont need pushing. Her elder son is smart. I dont think its any of her efforts. He had excel through his own efforts.

As simple as that.

Well, that just my own personal opinions. Of coz you can still go ahead with your plans on how u want your kids to be smart. But one thing I cant stand are parents who like to compare.

"eh my son now can easily learn all his spelling on his own. So hows yr daughter?"

Idiotic numbwit. Well No, bragger. She cant. But she's no more wearing a pampers. I heard yours still, at 6 now??

They irritate me to the core!

You see I never like to condemn other ppl kids and make my kid look smarter than yours. Each child have their own capabilities in doing things. Well my daughter just so happen to know fashion, singing and dancing better than 123 or ABC. But still she's learning someting rite?

Its not as if she is to become a lawyer or doctor in the next 5 years? So I'm letting her do what she likes and same goes for all my other kids.

Are you so damn sure yours will turn out to be someone with high flying carreer in the future? Dont be too sure till you're there. And take care of your own will ya already?

Ok enough of my ramblings. Hey I just realise the blogger in me have slowly started to emerge back..

Counting down..

Yeay! I'm counting down to my 2T. In less than 12 hrs, I'll be in my second trimester. Alhamdullilah.

Never tot I would make it this far. OKlah aku dah jadi physco sikit, bleh?

Try getting a miscarriage then pregnant again afterwards. You'll know how it feels then, hmph!

The heartburn has started to become part of my list of irritatingness. It has replaced the vomits, which only occurs when I smell something really really bad. So right after breakfast just now, I've been burping acidic tasting gas. It sucks sucks! I also get very bad sharp cramps each time I get up from the sofa or bed too fast or when I make a wrong turn.

Actually kan, I wanted to blog tomorrow only. By wat the heck lah. Tomorrow can post another. I've been wanting to take a pic of my tummy, which is looking more rounder now. OK at least now I already look pregnant than just fat.

But my breast are humungous. I feel like a cow now! I think all the weight I'm putting on are going to the breast actually. I'm not eating dat much. But everyday I feel like having spring chicken. I had spring chicken for 2 days straight last sun and monday.

Cannot everyday lah. I'll burn my pocket like dat. This Da Tao have expensive taste. For Atu last time it was only Strawberry sundae.

Now lets talk about my feelings...

I've been hormonal lately. The slightest ting can spark emotions out of me.I get angry, sad, jealous easily.

I'm ok with being angry and sad. But I hate hate simply hate this jealousy feeling. Its always like this when I'm pregnant. Maybe I'm feeling insecure from being all fat and ugly. Ok actually I dont feel so ugly. Infact I think My face is glowing *perasan moment*. But not being seductive and luscious *another perasan moment* like I use to, makes me feel so insecure. I know hubby loves me, but maybe now he dont find me approaching anymore. Get what I mean? With the big tummy there, I feel like a bear now. Actually Yojna said I look like a bubbly teddy bear now.....Wa liao! Ok lah teddy bears are cute, so I shall take that as a compliment ok?

So I'm now more determine than ever to lose all the weight even more than my pre pregnancy weight. Curl my hair and dye it like Beyonce's hair. After I give birth of coz. So look out for Beyonce Singapore eh in Dec. Muahahah!!

I'm a bit sad and angry for not being able to share all this moments with someone. This person, as usual, as stubborn as a bull still thinks that we are the wrongs ones. This person is dissapointed still wit us. But now that I think back, this person maybe have no feeling for us anymore, so wats the point of me wasting all my tots for this person, rite? This person also is not excited for my pregnancy, all this person is thinking about is the person's self. As usual, the selfish, arrogant ignorant self.

So I shall not be bothered anymore with this person, coz I'm not giving in anymore and it never really mattered if this person was arnd or not.

Ok happy tots. 13 weeks tomollow...insyallah..

D Quickening

Yes, I experience the first ever Da Tao's quickening today.

Actually it was last nite I think, just when I was about to sleep. I wasnt convinced at first. Then he did it again this morning at 1030am.

It was like soft kicks right in the middle just below my navel. I tot probably it could be just air. But I read on the internet that for experienced mummies like me, we could feel it as early as 12 weeks. So betul lah tu. Thank God for his miracle.

Yesterday was merlion day. I basically gagged everything that I eat or drink.

The last nasi briyani meal, supper actually, stayed in for quite a while, until irritating chubby let out the most disgusting smelling fart at Macdonalds.&*#@! Instantly everything wanted to come out. So there goes again my fourth meal of the day down the toilet bowl.

Tonight we're gonna watch 2 Fast 2 Furios4. WooHoo! 1150pm show.

I've been out till the wee hours these days. Not good eh??

Happy and Angry moments

Thank God, I'll be in my 12th week this week, in a few days time, with God's willing..

Last Sat was the best Kenduri at Neneks ever. For the first time after so many years, all of Ismails were reunited. We celebrated Abah, akim and Cik Mimik's bday together gether. That must have been Abah's best bday ever coz he get to celebrate it with all his siblings for the first time. Everyone had a funtastico time.

The Ismails were a crazy bunch. I love them to the bits. Everyone was not a fake, not like the other side. What you see is what you get. No one preach or critize the other one. It was always all smiles and laughter when they gather. Even Mak prefers to be with Abah's side, rather than her own side. With Mak side, haiz. Susah nak comment. There's always something wrong with other ppl. And to think that they are very the highly ugama type of ppl. Well, maybe this is what happen when you have too much knowledge but dont share the good ones and only use what you know for stabbing purpose.


Well anyway, back to me now. I get agitated easily now. Seems like everyone is trying to get on my nerves these days, or rather the past 3 days. Chubby is so irritating! I find everything he does irritates me to the core. Even when he burps I feel like slapping the crap out of him! But I love him all the same. Just that his every bit of action irritates me. Stop it lah u GEMUK! And he is so heartless. He always leaves me to walk on my own. Menonong je jalan. What if I fall? Sometimes I wish I would then he would regret it. &%$@! I know lah now I walk so slow, but he cant wait for me meh? Men!


The other one that have been irritating me is the %$#@ ing account Sanmina. Bloody ciao cin cau! Keep asking us to lower the rates, lower the rates. They might as well get their own bloody airplane or ship and ship out their goods. And my so forever kind Sales Director, is forever giving in.

Brought MIL to the FJ sale last sat to buy her bday present. The kiasuism of the ppl in Singapore, a particular race which I shall not say which, exhibits its kiasu act to the extreme! Two of them even ran, just to get in front of me in the queue! I tried to act cool and courteous, but after being pushed without even a sorry, the Monster in me came out to the full. I push and knuckled my way into every cart. With No sorrys or excuse me, but just a bitching kiasu attitude. At times I let out a loud, "Eeerrrrggghh KIASU!" The person would stare at me, Then I would say " WAT??!!" after which Manje will come and pull me away.

Hey, I may be pregnant, but still you cant mess with me. Hmph!

Aniq have been sick the past few days. I gave him my exclusive mummy massage and alhamdullilah, he got better the next day. How amazing is the mummy's touch.

On a happier note, (I really want to be happy, hope this hormonal raging will go down soon!), I finally got my Bebe shoe last Friday, which I tried to wear yesterday and did, but decided that it will only be worn when there's very very very minimal walk involve. And I tink I felt the heart beat last friday when the baby was at the upper part of my tummy and today I tot I felt it moved, or could it be just gas...?

Hormones raging -11 weeks

I'm 11 weeks finally! Thank GOD! 2 more weeks before my 2 T.

So I'm still at work now. Stupid Manila have not send in their report. &%$@#!

By the way, one of my cousin, 18 years old is preggy also. Same due month also! Hey wat's with Oct anyway eh? Ppl get excited and Babies are made on the beginning of the year I presume.

I'm going berserk this week. Mon & Tues I can't stop crying. Wed I was a happier mood coz the saga finally was over. Thurs and today, I can be cranky at times, burst out lauging so hard another time. Oh Fie is also preggy. Same Month also! And she's goin to my Dr Heng also, after I persuaded her to quickly go for her first check up. And she's happy with my gynae. Well, who wouldnt be? We'll be going for our next check up hand in hand. LOL!

I notice now, my da tao hates indian food. He rejects all indian food. Everytime I eat Indian, it will instantly come out back. Did I mention this already? yes? No? My memory is getting worst nowadays. The other day at the canteen, I couldnt even remember if the aunty have given me back my change or not.

Oh and my appetite is getting better now. In fact too good dat I constantly feel hungry.Chiew Ming ah!! I've been bad this week. 2 fast food meal. Thats no good huh. And Lotsa cold drinks. But I cant help it! Baby mummy is sorry!

Was out wit my TPS mates last Tue for the 2nd reunion. And dat forever filthy mouth Salihin says my butt looks like a huge watermelon. Idiot! You wait! I'll make you eat back yr words in Nov!

I wanna dye my hair. But not sure if its safe. On the internet it says its ok. And my niece, THE HAIRDRESSER now, also say its ok. Maybe I shall, or not. Aiyah, just so fickle minded nowadays.

I bought a Bebe Wedge and I'm GONNA WEAR THE 4 Inch wedges! Muahahah!! Till I can't lah of coz. For now I can still afford to be vain, so I shall. But only when there's minimal walk involve of coz. OK another ting I notice, I'm more vain than ever now and the black patches have start to invade my skin. Boo hoo! I saw it just beside my armpit this morning and it looks disgusting! How to wear sleeveless like this?

10 weeks 4 days

I'm so tired today.

I'm an emotional wreck. I really dont understand why cant these ppl give in to me just this once. Sorries are not required. Just a bit of care will help me greatly. I want to be a happily preggy woman, but wit all that is goin on, how can I?

I cried again today. The guys have been so caring about me. Asking me if I have taken my medicine and all. They were at our place yesterday. Chubby said not to think too much about it. He wants me to be a happy preggy mummy and so I shall. He's here and had always been and I'm thankful for that. Thankful also for my darling Manje, taking such great care of sickly me. Thankful for the Geng Jackass for the fun and laughter. And of coz, thankful for my 3 precious angel who never fail to make me smile.

So I am thankful for these ppl that are around me now....there's nothing more that I could ask for.

Ok wait, theres one more of coz. Thankful for what God had blessed me with. For letting me keep this one. My precious lil da tao. Mummy cant wait to hold you in my arms..

My Da Tao have been very selective of his food these days. Everytime I eat, it'll be in about 15 mins when everything comes out back. Yes, I timed so that I wont vomit in the car after eating outside.

Had my first 'siput biawak' last nite. I was just too tired that I fell asleep without recalling wat I did to make it ok. It's been years since I had it, so cant really remember wat to do and usually it'll be chubby who will flex my foot to make the cramp go away. LOL! Told him this morning about it and now he have to be on standby again for my cramps.

Rachel and Fizah are also preggy. Almost same EDD as mine. So happy for them!

Ok I'm too sleepy to write more. 2 more weeks and I'll be in my 2T. Insyallah. Amin..

My Lil Da Tao

Presenting my Lil' Da Tao..measuring at 2.56cm.

I've gained 1 kg from the last check up. Errk! I tot I would lose weight from all that vomitting and not eating. Well, lets hope, it's all going to the baby.

I actually wanted to keep this private till my 12 weeks. But after seeing the lil human in me growing well, I can't keep this secrete any longer. Else I'll explode! Well, you are most welcome to read from the beginning... :D, if it interest you that is.

Alhamdulllilah. As you can see, my lil bean have taken form into a tiny human. He looks quite fat eh? I'm just assuming it's a boy now. Maternal instinct.

So now I'm at 9 weeks 6 days. Chubby was amazed at the baby's growth. Still not much excitement I can see from him. I asked for spring chicken in the middle of the night and didnt get it. I was expected to go down together to buy. I might as well get it myself right? #$@!

I was even determined to go for the check up myself yesterday and he said of coz he will follow. Bah!

The sad part is I cant deliver the baby on Chubby's bday coz Dr Heng will be away. waarrgghh!! So I guess I'll just deliver it when he wants to come out lor..

9 weeks 1 or 4 days

Alhamdullilah. I am in the week where I lost the last one. Ocassional throwing up is still occuring. Which is good.

I'm not my best today. Got flu and feeling a bit feverish.

Sometimes I get sharp cramps when I get up too fast from the sofa. Hope that's ok. It's great to be able to share experiences with other MTBs on Singaporemotherhood forum. Its been about a week since I joined and it felt like I've know theme forever.

I'm now officially appointed as the VP of our RYC (Royal Yellow Club). It's a made up club in the forum, where the yellow mindeds are selected or rather appointed. LOL!

For now it's only Ros,Siti, Mak, Kak Juli, Manje & Chubby knows bout my pregnancy. Coz these are the ppl that matters anyway.

I am suprised at myself, that with this pregnancy, I can control my anger well. I don't get agitated easily. But I tink I'm a bit oversensitive when it comes to chubby. I feel like he doesnt seem to be loving me as he always had. He doesnt hold me like he use too. It seems like I'm the only one pulling the string now. I feel like he has someone else. Or maybe it's just me to feel this way. I'm losing the confidence on myself that i use to have, now that I'm getting bigger and uglier. I dont see him being to eager bout our baby. Everytime I talk bout my irritants, he will just give me an ignorant look. Like, "so?". I have decided not to ask him if he will come with me to the check ups. I can go on my own. You know the last time we went for the check up, after I arrange for the next appointment, I told him maybe I'll change to Mondays instead so that he can come. And he said, but that doesnt guarantee that he can accompany me. Its like he's trying to siam from the appointments. So I decided to keep it at Wednesdays, coz it wont make much diff anyway.

But whatever happens, I will still keep this baby and take care of it on my own. I am and have always been independent and nothing will shatter that.

I have decided to officiall make this Blog public after my check up with Dr Heng this wednesday, if everthing goes well that it, insyallah. But it wont be publicly announced. If ppl happen to see my blog, then they'll know lah.

Jas gave birth to a healthy baby boy 3.3kg last friday at 840 hrs. So happy for her. Glad everthing went ok.

8 weeks 2 or 5 days

Yesterday was the worst of my morning sickness. This pregnancy morning sickness is not as bad as last time. I dont throw up after every meal. But I feel nausea most of the time and feel like vomitting but nothing actually comes out. But when I do vomit,its much easier now than it was the last few weeks.

I've pushed my appointment to next wed. Shortage of cash supply. hehe. Its better next week so that I hope I can finally see a shape of my baby. I hope.

Next week is the moment of truth week for me, coz it's the week I lost the last baby. So far alhamdulilah. I've been having morning sickness and my breast is like a cow's breast. So the symptoms are still around, which means baby is progressing. Insyallah.

Jas is scheduled for a c section this Friday. Hope she can tahan till then. She has already dilated 4 cm last Sat. The baby is in breech position. Now all this is making me scared. Coz I could also be going thru the same thing. Hope everything goes well with her and her baby..amin

Last night I dreamt that I was bleeding. Hope it's just a dream. It was so real. I didnt cry, as usual. Just dumbfounded. Emotionless.

The superhuman heart beats in me...hope it stays for the next 32 weeks.

7 weeks 1 or 4 days

Well actually I kinda lost count. According to calculations I shuld be 7 weeks 4 days, but according to the last scan now i shuld be 7 weeks 1 day.

But whatever the day I am now, I'm just glad i'm still counting. Alhamdullilah.

Still feeling sick each time I think about the longkang prawns I had last sat at the Prawning session. Wek! I tink it's just me lah. The prawns don really taste that bad according to Cindy. Ok I have to stop typing and tinking bout the prawns already coz it's making me quesy.

Chatted with Bliszy today and it's feels so shiok to be able to tell someone all bout my pregnancy. The tings I'm goin thru and all.

Last sat at the lame bday party, the kepo Kak ana, hubby's cousin asked, " eh eh Ina kak ana nak tanya sikit. Apsal sihat sgt skrg ?" Expecting the 'answer' fm me. I just told her happy. gemuklah. Kwang Kwang.

Today hyder asked also and insisted I said a yes, but each time I would talk bout other tings.

4 more weeks to go and I can say.insyallah...

i'm craving for zinger, since last sat. As usuallah kan Hubby buat bodoh. So later I'm getting it. Now I've given up telling him my craves. I'll just get it myself. Tak sakit hati.

I'm bringing adik and manje for the check up next week. They donno. It'll be a suprise. Cant't wait!

I do hope the next check up brings good news though...*prays hard*

6 weeks 4 days

So I still am...huhu..

Was at Tioman last Sat and just back on Tues. We went kai kai on Mon and this idiot brought us to the waterfall. Knowing that we have 2 small kids. He said it was just 2 mins walk to the waterfall. He drove us there and left us to find our way to the waterfall.

So I tot it''ll be a just a normal walk but NO! it wasnt. It was a tricky hike down to the waterfall. Idiot sia the driver. Tak ikhlas langsung. And I fell hard on my right side butt. I prayed hard noting will happen.

Ok On sat morning, 28 Feb, just before I want to start packing, went to the toilet and got brown discharge. So we went to KK and alhamdullilah everything is ok. The baby had a heart beat. it was 0.21 cm and arnd 6 weeks.

At first I decided not to see Dr Heng since I already went to KK kan. A bit tight on budget lah. But after that incident I had to check

So yesterday I went and told my darling Dr what happen and she said not to worry. We checked and alhamdullilah the baby is still there healthy and growing. It had grown up to 0.75cm, with heart beat and at 6 weeks 3 days.

She said now we will aim for a girl. But I'm just aiming for a healthy baby...

The morning sickness comes and go. Amazing I was ok at Tioman but felt a bit sick on the way back and also yesterday morning. Today I'm ok. But I'm not eating that well nowadays. Don't feel so greedy anymore. Don't know why eh. But good lah. So I dont put on so much.

Next appointment is on the 18th Mar. I'll bring Manje and give her the suprise.Hehe..

Hope it grows more...insyallah...amin.

6 weeks

Today I vomitted for the first time, right after breakfast. All the roti prata telur bawang I ate came right out back 5 minutes later.

Great! Now I can lose weight at least and at least it is assuring me that my hormones are raging in me, which means my pregnancy is going well so far. Alhamdullilah.

I craved for prawns. But I'll just wait till Sat where I can eat good cheap fresh prawns at tioman. Weehoo!

I'm not hungry. Amazing. Just no appetite to eat. Feeling pening2x.

I hope I'll survive the ferry ride this sat.

5 weeks 6 days

The morning sickness have officially begun. Yeay.....

Well at least that'sa good sign, I hope. I know I still am pregnant and baby is still in me.

But now I'm thinking, will I survive this coming Sat from the long ferry ride to tioman. I hope i hope!

There's no actual vomitting, just quesy feeling. The sick feeling in the stomach. It's irritatingly joyful. Like painful pleasure. Get it? No? Nevermind..

My Body is starting to ache again. Another irritating joy I'm trying to get by.

I'm losing my appetite. Cant even finish a bowl of mee rebus this morning. Every bit of smell is making me want to vomit sia.

5 weeks 4 days

Still am...alhamdullilah..

Yesterday however, I noticed my discharge had like a brown strained. I prayed so hard this morning there wont be any more and alhmadullilah, it was just the normal discharge. I told chubby bout it yesterday and he said that I must be extra careful. Ok this time I know he also do want it.

The fatique feeling is almost gone. Not as bad as last week. But I have a hard time falling back to sleep after sending akim at the door in the morning before he go to school.

But I'm feeling more bloated now. This morning the auntie coffee who I hate so much asked me am I pregnant. I told her I dont know. She said she tinks I am. You know lah auntie2x they know how to 'see'.

Not telling ppl is so much easier now. I no longer have that excited burst out feel of wanting to tell ppl I am. All I want now is to safely get thru the first 12 weeks. After that if ppl asked then I say lah.

By then this blog would be public also, insyallah...

If all goes all, the baby would have a heartbeat by this week. Please God, give it life...

5 weeks 1 day

Still am...wahaa! Loves it loves it! Ok you'll have to be as paranoid as I am. At least by the time you read this, I am already after my first trimister everything is goin well so far, insyallah.

Try putting yr self in my shoes then you'll know how ting tong it can get at times k. Especially whenever I go to the toilet and pee and hoping so bad I don see any blood coming out.

Not being able to do things I like, like bowling, but then not being able to tell ppl the truth why. Also not being able to tell ppl why I am putting on so much weight. Havent actually weight myself but I tink its over 65kgs. Waarrggh!!

But I have to eat, else the tummy cramps get worse.

Today I had Hokkien mee and it had to be the most satisfying lunch for this week. I' m happy. But still it feels like it's all gonna come out back anytime soon.

5 weeks

Another survived day...:D

Today is better on the cramps. In fact no more tummy cramps. Hope thats good news.

But maybe the vomitting game has started again. I had a lousy lunch consisting of a tasteless tomato rice and teriyaki chicken. It made me sick till now. Couldnt vomit it out though. Then at lunch just now, suddenly I smelled someting being fried in the kitchen. My sense of smell is getting very sensitive now. No one else can smell it, but me. Nearly made me puke.

I'm feeling more bloated today. But no one asked yet. Just that ppl have been throwing comments at me being a fatty bum bum, which I couldnt care less.

Hey I can eat as much as I can, so why waste it? And I'm always hungry. Bah!

Which reminds me, I have a double cheeseburger in the fridge which I wanted to bring for breakfast this morning. Damn!

4 weeks 6 days

Well, if I'm still typing here means I'm still pregnant.

Argh, the waiting is killing me sia! But everyday, minute & second I am thankful to Him that I still am. Then again, its still very early. Maybe only after I've passed the 9th week, the week I had my last miscarriage, only then I'll be at ease. Or maybe after I see Dr Heng next mth, after seeing the sac and heartbeat, then I'll be at ease?

I'm suppose to be enjoying this but yet I'm worried as hell. This has got to be the most worrying pregnancy I ever experienced.

Btw, the weeks above is calculated based on my LMP. So it could change after I see Dr Heng.

I'm so tired. I can barely open my eyes right now as I'm typing. Hmm amazingly I'm not vomiting after meals. Hope that's a good sign. Coz usually I would. I actually did feel nausea during the conception period. But a week just before i'm suppose to have my period, it stopped.

But the aches on my body. back and leg is killing me.

I wish I can just lay down on my bed right now....ZZZzzzzzzzz

4 weeks 5 days

I tink I'm getting paranoid!

I keep on going to the toilet to check if theres bleeding and each time I go, I prayed so hard there's no blood. I keep getting menstrual cramps. Not so bad, just very mild ones. Discharge are getting thick and not so much. Just slightly more than usual. Just like before I'll get my menses, that kinda discharge.

Is the test accurate? Now I wonder. Skali not pregnant at all. But a false positive is unlikely to happen. Especially when its clear and immediate.

So the waiting game is not really officially over lah kan.

My appointment with Dr Heng is on the 4th Mar only. Thats the only available evening slot. By then I'll be 6 or 7 weeks. Ok Hope I can finally see the sac and prolly a heartbeat *pray hard*

Baby, please stay in mummy's tummy this time ok...

Finally it happened again

I had the miscarriage last Dec.

It was terrible and recalling it hurts.

13 Feb 09 @ 1900 hrs, I did the test with Clearblue. The + sign appeared.

So now, I'm blessed the second time. With the date that I had wished for - 22nd Oct 09.
Well actually I want it to be 6 Oct. But it'll be too early to deliver.

I'm not announcing or getting too excited about it coz the feeling of being so happy then so sad within seconds is so depressing. So I'll wait till I'm after 12 weeks then I'll open this blog again to public. If it happens again, nauzubillah. It'll be kept private...haiz..

The emotions is killing me. I'm so happy but yet so scared to be dissapointed again. Never in my life I tot I would miscarry, but it did.

I did so many things last time to miscarry but didnt. And dis time I took so much care but it did. God have a funny way of giving and taking things but I know watver he decides is for the best.

I really hope nothing bad happens this time since It'll be due on my mak's bday and this will be one of the best gift i can give her. Just to see the smile on her face is an overwhelming feeling.

I'm feeling so fatigue and aching all over. Its terrible. I just wanna sleep please and a foot massage can?

The only ppl who knows now are my hubby of coz, mak & bliszy. Had to tell her coz she left for perth today and I want to tell her personally.

Yesterday my galfrens asked but I managed to stay calm and told them I will tell when the time comes..Jas was pestering me like a lalat today, managed to shoo her off..hehe

Dont tink I can keep it for so long as my tummy if getting bigger. I'm eating well you see.

I've been having discharge and a bit of cramps and everytime I go to the toilet I hoped so badly that I'm not bleeding.

Dear Allah, you have given me a second chance and I am very thankful for that. Please let me keep this one....please...